ninakaw kay camz dahil walang mgwa
Posted at 01:34 AM

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive.
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.(pede ren...)
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.(dati!!!)
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.(ewwww...)
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night. (i hardly ever do, in fact, hahaa)
I'm religious.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.(i wish)
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages.
I enjoy taking pictures.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money. (pffft!!!)
I can cook.(pag may toyo)
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life. (u gotta see my room)
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste.
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.(i honestly tried...)
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.(im thinkin of gettin one)
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.(when i have to be!!!)
People enjoy talking to me.
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic. (so im told)
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.(i live in my flippyflopps!)
I know what monogamy is...
...and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.(i think)

my tiki
Posted at 02:41 PM

my tiki...

 today, i bought a car... my very own car...

 now i know that having a car isnt a big deal and if you see my tiki then you'll be like what so great about it????

 whats great about it is that its mine... my very own... bought with my money... the money that i worked  my ass off for... i finally own something...

 its not a great car, nothing special..no body kits, no subs, no reams, none of that... its a tahitian green civic hatchback hence the name tiki...

 its nothing special or fancy or new... but its all mine and to me that's all that matters...

 i now officially have a ride....wohhooooooo.....

bravery or stupidity...u tell me...
Posted at 02:33 AM

i told my parents that i wanted to move out to my own place last night...

after a long time of being part of something and relying on my family for every little thing i finnaly had the courage(?!) to tell them i want to venture out on my own... learn to rely on myself be more responsible and have a little more room to breathe and be me...

mali ba?

i know my parents wouldnt take it well... granting that i think im the first in the family who wants to move out from a warm home... being the first child i understand that they arent ready to let me go yet and they cant and dont want to understand why i would even think of such a thing... i dont want them to think they dont provide a good enough home... it has nothing to do with anyone but me...

sabi nila its the influence of my friend... what friends? i know a handful of people in canada let alone langley and i hardly consider most of them friends let alone have them make my descisions for me...

sabi nila its because of my non existent boyfriend apparently, adam, a friend that lives 8hours away from langley that being if ur driving a lil over the limit.. itd take my dad a whole day to drive to where he lives but that never occured nor did they consider this mere fact...

my parents are completely baffled by such an idea... the sad part the whole drama is they dont wanna sit down and ask me why... im dying to tell them why...

im dying to say that because of theirs and my relatives constant scrunity of my appearance im suffering from bulimia and im so afraid of dropping dead in my bathroom floor

im dying to say im miserable and i cant breathe... and i want just a room of my own... my own shelter where everything is exactly how i want it to be..where everything is mine and everything is me...

im dying to say that i cant concentrate anywhere and i feel so trapped that everything and everywhere i look is chaotic to me... one of the few reasons why i havent been doing well in school..

im dying to tell them that although i love coming home to a warm house with people and food i want to experience opening the door and having it exactly the way i left it and having peace and quiet and being able to sit quietly, make my own coffee and write my english paper in one sitting without anyone yelling, coming thru the door or having to worry about waking someone

im dying to wear my booty shorts and my camis around the house and jump around to latin reggae without having anyone tell me to stop dancing or make me feel like a disgrace coz im not fully coevered

im dying to wash the dishes before i leave and come home and have the sink still empty

im dying sleep late without anyone waking me up coz they wanna use the blow dryer in my room or just use the mirror and do their hair

im dying to stand on my own coz i fear that im losing my ground depending more and more on the people around me... for every little thing i need

im dying to wash m own clothes and have no one tell me when and to buy my own food and eat healthier to clean up after myself to be responsible for paying rent every pay day... to sleep whenever u feel like it listen and watch whatever u want and not have to worry about detroying my lil brother's innocent mind...

im dying to drink as much coffee as i want to without having someone nag at me all the time for being addicted to it...

im dying for them to at least hear me out and understand how i feel im listening to what they have to say but even when i speak im not heard

im all alone and confused... is this right? is this wrong?

i dont know anymore... i dont know anything anymore...

thankyou...
Posted at 02:01 AM

ren... thankyou so much u have no idea how much this means... thanks...

thankyou...
Posted at 01:58 AM